Not Knowing You
by je-suis-peur
Summary: My 1st story...short sum. maureena dn roger have a one night stand and they have twins...story switches to 16 years later in the 1st chap....i suck  summaries but i promise it will be good...worth the read.........I DO NOT OWN RENt...short chap 4 prologue


Prologue

_Maureen's View_

I had no idea what came over me. All during Collin's and Angel's wedding (when gay marriage was still legal) I had this strong, sexual attraction to Roger. I know he noticed and he felt the same. I believed this weird attraction to be from the number of drinks I have already drunk and my urge to get away from Joanne's jealous paranoia and Mark's whiny obsession. Who really knows?

Roger was avoiding Mimi. Why? I do not know. All I _do_ know is that if he kept doing it he was going to lead her back to drugs and back to Benny.

I wasn't surprised when Roger had offered to take me back to the loft because we both had wanted to leave early. Back at the loft our drinks had gotten the best of us and before I knew it we were making out. The next morning I woke next to Roger. Naked. I was so thankful that no one had come home the night before (or morning even) and rushed, fully clothed, to my apartment.

I found out I was pregnant a week later.

The next nine months had gone by in a blur. I was glad that when I started showing in my sixth month of pregnancy it was during the winter months so I could wear baggy clothes without looking suspicious. I avoided Joanne entirely and I think she finally got the hint and moved out. I loved Joanne but I knew I couldn't stop her leaving without telling her my secret.

My last month of pregnancy I avoided all my friends, all except for Roger. I had to let him know. He _was_ the father.

During labor, after the birth of a little girl I named Melinda; I was shocked when the doctor said there was another one coming. I named my second Melena. I had twins!

When the twins were in the hospitals nursery, Roger and I had fought for hours on end. I wanted the children to be left under the safe care of my parents. Sure, they would call me irresponsible but at least my children would be safe (safer than with us bohemians who can barely even pay rent and go days without a decent meal). He wanted us to move someplace better and live together as a family. He wouldn't listen to me when I said my family are my friends and I couldn't live without them (and I wasn't excluding the twins when I said that). He took it the wrong way and left angrily.

On the morning where the kids and I were supposed to leave the hospital I awoke to a note on my stomach under my johnny where the nurses couldn't get to it. It read in Rogers' handwriting……..

Maureen,

If you want to stay here with your friends, that's fine by me. I'm not going to let your parents raise my children. I have the kids and I'm going to bring them up on my own. They don't need your wild ways. I'll try to send pictures to you if you want but that's all.

-Roger

P.s. Just to make sure you don't come anywhere near the kids I'll tell all of our friends that you abandoned them and told me to take them off your hands if you do decide to come.

And I cried. I wanted my children but I could not lose my friends and I know they would disapprove of me becoming a mother. Especially knowing the twins father is Roger. Mimi would kill me. I was sort of relieved (because I was NOT ready to be a mother) but I hated myself instantly after that thought.

I eventually went and lived with Mark and Mimi. They were surprised by Rogers' disappearance but Mimi was most of all. She cried every night and I comforted her (my guilt always accompanied me and never strayed far). She got back together with Benny and I was so glad that he did not allow her to start using again. Mimi didn't need that shit in her life. Mark's documentary had gone missing. I hope Roger took it to show our children his friends but most of all to show them me.

I had starting cutting a couple weeks after the disappearance. I knew it was an immature way to handle this situation but I didn't like drugs and overdrinking would ruin my figure. I did it on my thighs where no one could see anything. Joanne and I got back together. We didn't get married, just lived together. She thought my cutting was from our past situation and I didn't make her think otherwise. I didn't want her curiosity to get the better of her and I didn't want her to know the real reason.

My heart was broken. It's not like I loved Roger. Well I did, but like a brother. I hated him for taking my children from me and taking away my right to be their mother.


End file.
